I've never been as scared as I am today.  Ask me for the details - but, the short story is that I accidentally locked you and the keys inside the van with outside temperatures below zero.  I have to admit, I got a little (a lot) hysterical knowing I couldn't get to you.  Baby Lex and I were on the outside looking in, feeling helpless.  You were calm - you are such a brave, little girl.  Everyone came to the rescue: your tia Laura, your tia Yudid, even strangers...  In the end, you were fine.  Baby Lex was a bit cold (poor little guy) and I...well I've just been beating myself up over the whole thing.  I could never forgive myself if I ever hurt you.  I am harboring feelings of ineptitude and feelings of being a bad mother. And now, that you are sleeping soundly and the hysteria has subsided - I'm still very scared.  While I have always known this, I feel like this realization has hit me like a ton of bricks all off a sudden:  you are my life.  Without you, I cannot breath.  Your precious life is my responsibility and I will do my best to always protect you.   But, I'm somehow rationalizing with myself and also realize that there will be many other, bigger and badder scares in our lifetimes. I can only promise to do my very best to shield you from harm.  I will make mistakes along the way, I will learn from my mistakes.  Not to mention, that our family will always be there with us to help along the way.  I'm so sorry that I locked you in the van.  I feel terrible and I can't wait for you to wake up so that I can cuddle with you and let you know how much I love you.  -Mamá